I realized that the beauty of nature outside my vehicle could not even compare to the majesty inside of it and waiting for me at home. In my rear view mirror were two gorgeous sleeping babes, snoring away and I'm sure dreaming of strawberry sorbet, splashing in the Canmore quarry, and fun with cousins. What a day we had together! Through my windshield I gazed at the road that took me home to my most amazing husband, the love of my life and my best friend. My children and my spouse, gifts from above....miracles of grace that have transformed me.
My mind couldn't help but wander to the memory, not so long ago, of a long and lonely road trip home from Vancouver. In my rearview mirror I gazed at very sad memories, broken realities, and desperate attempts to become something loveable to someone who didn't love me. Through the windshield I sought stability, meaning, identity, LOVE.
And now here I am, with a husband who loves me without question or doubt, and who I know always will. With two sweet ones who adore me, so much so that I sometimes feel smothered! What a difference a few years makes...
While I struggle almost daily with the demands that being a mother and wife place on me, most especially the sacrifice of time for "self" whether it be to pray, exercise, sleep, or lounge....I cannot imagine who I would be without these gifts in my life that make it necessary for me to choose the RIGHT over the EASY in each and every moment. I am so blessed to have been given these three humans to pull me out of my own selfishness and, through my intense love for them, help me become a better person.
With a grateful heart this night,
xoxo
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