Reflections on Liliana's Birthday

Hello Dear Ones!!! 

In the blog before this I recounted the day that Liliana was born. I just want to offer a few reflections on birth, her birthday in particular, and the hypnobabies methodology I learned for birthing. It is probably helpful for you to read the birth story first before reading this one!!! 

http://packardjoeandem.blogspot.com/2011/08/liliana-joys-birth-story.html

FIVE things:

Firstly, the last 3 or so weeks of my pregnancy I’d visualized my birth and in it I awoke with pressure waves early in the morning so that I could labor in the quiet and dark for a while, arrived at the birth center 7 or 8 centimeters dilated, and had our baby before 8 pm. In real life, I awoke at 5:00 am with pressure waves, labored at home for ten hours, arriving at the birth center only three hours before our baby was born. I never had a single internal exam because I progressed so steadily and our baby was right there when my body started pushing. I only pushed for 45 minutes. By 8 pm I had birthed our beautiful baby and was enjoying a glass of champagne! It was simply incredible. The human mind is so beautiful and so powerfully equipped to do amazing things. I think that women need to have more confidence in their ability to achieve beautiful, peaceful births.

Secondly: I took the posterior challenge (the challenge to ensure Liliana was in a perfect position to be born) very seriously and spent weeks ensuring that our little one was anterior. Posterior babies often result in long labors and lots of back pain. This challenge meant hardly ever leaning back in a comfy chair and lots of hands and knees time but it was SO WORTH IT! I HIGHLY recommend this. Check out www.spinningbabies.com for more information :)

Thirdly, even though I didn’t use the hypnobabies tools like I’d expected I would (didn’t use the finger drop and quickly lost interest in the recordings as I started concentrating more), the biggest thing hypnobabies gave me was the mental conditioning to allow my body to do what it knew how to do and to be unafraid. Moreover, it taught me how to relax so effectively, and direct that relaxation through breathing, that I almost didn’t need to actively use the tools as it came naturally to me after so many months of practice. I fully believe that my body worked so efficiently because I knew how to take my mind out of the process and surrender control through relaxation.

Fourthly: I was waiting for the moment where I'd think that I needed pain relief or that I couldn't cope. But, it never came! I was so well equipped with other methods of relaxing, and I so thoroughly believed that my body was capable of doing what it needed to, that I never felt like I needed intervention.This is not to say that all intervention is bad, I just want to say that an intervention free birth is totally possible and need not be traumatizing!

Finally, I had the BEST birth team ever and I hope every woman is as lucky as me to be surrounded by such a team. My husband was my primary support, and he was supported by my mom and my little sister Anna. I felt cherished, treasured, and safe the entire time. I think this helped me to never panic or feel out of control. Consequently, experiencing birth was not scary for my 9 year old sister. We often offered to her the option to leave the room if it was too much. However, she never felt the need to! Society has gone away from birth and death being something that isn't scary, that is natural, and a family event. However, I don't think we need to view these things as scary, and it gives me so much joy that now my little sister has been able to witness the miracle of childbirth and the utter joy of welcoming a new baby into the world.

 I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect birthday for our sweet Liliana!!!

Oh how we love you, Liliana JOY!

PS: stay tuned, because Joe is going to write his version of Liliana's birthday soon :) 

Love from the land of Oz, XOXO

Pregnancy Tool Kit

Hello again our dear ones near and far away! I hope this July day finds you all well and very happy. I am currently layered up with leggings, a skirt, and two sweaters. Brrrr, it’s chilly! However, I also just finished eating an orange popsicle, I couldn’t resist! A pregnant girl has got to do what shes got to do J

Yes, I eat popsicles all day long lately!!! My favorite are orange and sprite flavored, Joe has taken quickly to fudgsicles. We have a collection in our freezer :) 

Today, for something completely different I wanted to share (with those of you who might be interested) some of the tools that have helped me have such a fabulous, healthy pregnancy. I started off this pregnancy reeling from the emotions of the experience and all of my fears (superficial and deep) regarding this journey. It motivated me to pursue a healthy, vital pregnancy. In the process, I’ve learned that unfortunately most women are fed with the message that pregnancy is a condition that must be managed instead of a natural and beautiful process. I think in the end, constantly hearing that message can lead to a lot of undue fear and painful experiences. 

Of course, I recognize that every woman is different, every baby is different, and every pregnancy is different. Thus, there isn't just one "right way" to be pregnant or manage pregnancy. Some need more intervention and management, and that is OK too! But, here are some of the things that have helped me!

WARNING: this blog is LONG, if pregnancy doesn't interest you, you may want to skip to the last paragraph :)

The first has been my beautiful Hypnobabies Childbirth Preparation Course. Now, this is a course that teaches hypnosis for childbirth, and at first hypnosis sounded really out there and wonky to me. However, Hypnobabies is really about learning to deeply relax and also to reprogram your psyche to view pregnancy as normal, natural, healthy, and safe. The hour or so that I’ve spent each day since about 25 weeks learning about my body and bonding with our little girl has been so utterly invaluable. Moreover, it is a complete childbirth course, so there is tons of information about nutrition (including encouragement to gain SUFFICIENT weight during pregnancy, yay!), and exercise. Husbands are involved also, and I can’t wait to try my tools out on Liliana’s birthday. However, even if her birth should take any unexpected turns, I will use Hypnobabies for affirmation and reassurance in every subsequent pregnancy.

http://www.hypnobabies.com/

The second is positive birth stories and birth videos! I have spent much time reading positive birth stories and watching videos of beautiful, peaceful births on youtube. I think that it really helps to feel united to other women, to see their strength, and to have first hand witnesses of how beautiful and strengthening birth can be, despite its intensity and oftentimes the pain. When I feel worries, especially when bombarded with other women’s horror stories or the oh-so-popular phrase “you’ll give in and get the drugs,” I just watch a video or read a birth story, or look at the GORGEOUS photos by birth photorapher Lynsey Stone J

http://www.blogger.com/goog_1586284803

http://www.blogger.com/goog_1586284803

http://www.youtube.com/user/EnjoyBirth

http://www.dfwbirthphotographer.com



Third and more recently is information about optimal fetal positioning. It has been revealed to me that there is a perfect position for babies to be born in! Statistically, this position allows for quicker labors, perfect head positioning, and therefore calmer mamas! Specifically this is anterior (facing mom’s back), chin tucked, and with the fetal spine to maternal left. It is shocking to me that women aren’t told about this more, because we can actually encourage our babies into this position in the last 4-6 weeks of pregnancy. It involves almost no time reclining, and lots of time on all fours or leaning forward, but I feel like that is a worthwhile little sacrifice. Check out these websites:

http://www.spinningbabies.com/

http://fruitfulvines.blogspot.com/search/label/Baby%20Positions

All of the different positions our wee ones can assume in utero!

Fourth is Exercise!!! Now, I have been fortunate enough to feel well enough to exercise throughout pregnancy. However, while I started out doing what I normally would in the gym, I obviously had to revise. Now, I get into the weight room maybe twice a week and do arms and lots of squats (and at the same time frighten to death all the macho men in there with my ginormous belly!). The other two or so times I work out, I use my amazing MommyShape Prenatal DVD, which I bought from www.amazon.com. Taught by a woman who is 35 weeks pregnant, the dvd was too easy for me in second trimester but has been perfect in the third. It is a mix of yoga, dancing, and light weights (I use soup cans). Liliana loves the dancing portion and always gets her little self going before dropping off to sleep. What a sweetie!

http://www.mommyshape.net

This is what the cover of the DVD looks like :)



Fifth, but  most important is Spiritual Preparation. Joe and I have just devoured “Parenting with Grace” by Gregory and Lisa Popcak. (http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Grace-Gregory-K-Popcak/dp/1592766854/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1310370958&sr=8-2We)We only read up to and including the chapter on parenting infants, but it truly helped us understand better our vocation to parenthood and the responsibility of teaching this little one about the Father’s love from her first moments. Moreover, it has reminded us of the importance of a strong and passionate marital love as we parent. I would highly recommend the book to anyone who is interested. We read it outloud together, little by little, and I know we will return to it many times in the future.

Well, this has certainly been a novel! BUT, I hope that it provides some help to whoever may be early in their pregnancy and looking for little ways to have a joyful, beauty-filled baby growing. Tomorrow I will write about the “American Dream” himself, my husband. And yes, he has been called that here.

We love you! Prayers from OZ,



Letter to Liliana

My Dearest Little Lady,

Well, Mother's day is coming up, our first Mother's day of many to come. I am excited for this one, that I get to spend so close with you, feeling you move and grow in my belly. I think it is a very lucky first Mother's day to have! There are so many things happening, so very quickly now that you and I are in our third trimester. I can't believe that your beautiful birth day is 3 months away. Oh how I can't wait to meet you and hold you, and kiss your cute little nose.

You are getting very big now! I can't bend over to put my socks or shoes on, and if I try you always remind me with a fiesty little kick that you are there and don't like being squished.

You like to spend most of your time very low in my belly and with what seems to be your back pressed up against me. Often Daddy and I can make out the shape of your little body, and then it looks like you are trying to escape straight through my belly button when you start moving around and making all sorts of odd shapes out of my abdomen.

You really hurt my back these days, upper and lower! I have lots of pain in my ribs, maybe because you are crowding my lungs? I don't know, and I'll probably never know as you won't be able to tell me when you are finally in our arms! Daddy has become a hero doing lots of the house work and taking care of me, because sometimes the only relief is to put my feet up with a hot pack.

You MUST be growing because Mommy is soooo hungry. I usually wake up in the night and my stomach is growling away. You make me want to eat lots of sweets, especially first thing in the morning. Who knew Easter Eggs tasted so good before real eggs?

You seem to move and kick more than you sleep. It is so cute when you get the hiccups, and lots of times you start moving if we are playing music. You always move when Daddy talks to you through Mommy's belly button, and when he puts his cheek against you, you like to give him a little kick and let him know you are there.

Yesterday I saw/felt either a little foot or a little knee sticking out on the left side, it was so cute and I keep imagining what your little feet will look like! Will they be long and skinny like your daddy's?

I have dreams of you alot, and in my dreams I get to hold you. You always have lots of dark hair!! To tell you the truth, you always look alot like me in my newborn pictures, maybe because it is hard to imagine a perfect little person that is a combination of your daddy and me. It is just so amazing!

On that last note, I really hope you get your daddy's gorgeous hands and fingers. If you do, not only will you be an amazing athlete but you could be a fabulous musician. Oh, the opportunities are endless!

Mommy and Daddy are still living in Australia. It's been a really big challenge, and to tell you the truth you are the brightest light in our lives right now. Even though it's hard to make ends meet, we can't imaging not having you in our lives, you make everything worth it!

I am really hoping that you are born before Daddy's last basketball game (July 31), even though your "guess date" is August 1. I just want you to "see" him play!! He is such a hero, you are going to be soooo proud of your daddy, and you are going to feel so safe whenever he is with you.

You seem pretty stubborn, much more like me than like daddy. I don't know how possible it is to tell personality in the womb, but you seem to be pretty assertive in there! Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into? Hopefully your daddy, who is cool as a cucumber, can rub off on you a little bit.

Oh, and by the way I have been doing lots of work to prepare for your beautiful birthday. Mommy is learning hypnobabies, in the hopes that your birthday is beautiful and peaceful. I want you to come in the world in a peaceful and gentle way. I wouldn't mind if you cooperated with me :)

Well my sweet Liliana Joy, that's all for now! I love you so much, thank you for being my daughter...I feel like the luckiest lady in the world to be celebrating her first mother's day as your mama! Keep growing big and strong!!!

xoxo...... Mama