"For this Child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart." 1 Sam 1:27
5 Weeks
My tiny baby. You are only 5 weeks old, so hidden in my belly, so little and new, so loved by us!
Your sister has become my handmaiden, literally on my heels every moment of the day asking if there is anything I need. Your big brother keeps asking me if you will come out in the morning and I have to tell him that it will still be many mornings until he can stand by you with his sword and be your protector. Today he lit a candle before St. Joseph for you with daddy. He loves you!
As if daddy could do anything more he has been doing the chores and making mommy stay in bed longer or go to bed earlier. He is determined that you and I will both be healthy and strong, physically and emotionally!
We have dreamt about you for so very long and now our dreams are intensified. We wonder who you are, what your name is, what you look like. I dream about feeling your first fluttery kicks and your somersaults. You are so new and yet we have not been able to contain our secret from our friends and family. From the moment that you were you have been your own unique person, an eternal soul of infinite worth and we could not help but share the news of YOU.
Already there are little sacrifices involved with holding you safe in my belly, little selfish habits that I held to tightly that I have to let go for love of you. Already, my tiny baby, you make me better, more selfless, more resolute. Thank you!
We are counting the weeks until we meet you. They will go so slow and so fast all at the same time. In the meantime we will keep dreaming about you and praying for you.
I love you!
6 Weeks
My tiny baby. How I love you! You are 6 weeks and 3 days old, and starting to make your presence known a little more. You are already showing your unique you-ness, as you make Mama sick in the morning and not the night like your brother and sister. Mama has been pretty ill for the last 2 weeks with a sinus infection, and with the added nausea I've been a little cranky. However, I remind myself to be GRATEFUL. These are all signs of you, our darling. It is all for you and for our family, and it is all such meaningful suffering.
I went for a walk yesterday and was reminded of how I love these moments before the world knows about you. Anyone looking at me would have seen one person out for a walk....but there were 2 of us! Two people, two guardian angels....I'm never alone. I love having you with me.
I am counting the days until I can be a little more certain that you are OK in there. Until then we pray hard, loving you more and more.
12 Weeks
My tiny baby, you are 2 inches long now! Oh how I love you. I haven't written here since we started telling friends and family about you, perhaps because since then I seem to talk about you all the time. Your brother and sister only want to talk about you, or read books about how you are growing, or talk about what you should be named or whose bed you should sleep in. We pray for you at every meal and we give thanks for you and pray for you at bed time. It is Judah and Liliana's number one prayer intention these days. It is so fun!
The time is flying and I am simultaneously grateful and frightened by that. There are so many things i want to do before you are born....organizational things that would make me more ready for you. However all of my best intentions for fitness and productivity disappeared by how tired growing you as made me. I am hopeful the energy comes back, or maybe I'll have to ask for help, which wouldn't be so bad either.
Either way, I dream about you daily. I already yearn to have you in my arms and know you are safe. The second trimester certainly brings a little more security, but pregnancy after having experienced miscarriage is different than before. I am fearful for your safety and oh, so aware that every moment with you is a gift. Thank you for being part of our family!
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| 10 weeks |
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| 12 Weeks you are the size of a LIME! |
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| 12 Weeks |
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