Enough

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9

We have had an interesting first four years of marriage. Jetting off to Australia with 5000 dollars cash to our name and a hotel for 5 days, a daughter born there, a return to Canada only to live in my parent's basement as Joe waited for status, working for a start up company...by no means are we the poster family for "be established and secure before getting married and starting a family."

For sure throughout the course of our marriage I have often wondered "will there be enough?". On its most basic level this has had to do with enough money to get by. However, as a wife and mother I often ask the same question with regards to time, energy, patience, LOVE. "Will there be enough?"

It has been astounding to me that, if we are doing our utmost to love always and do the right thing, the answer is always YES. The most startling thing about our life, as I look back over these years, is that if we dare to love greatly, BEYOND OUR MEANS, we are never left wanting.

In Australia, soon after moving there and yet feeling called to be open to a new life in the midst of all, we found ourselves expecting a baby and wondering what the next step was. I wondered, have we risked too much? Was our openness reckless? Do we have enough to get by? Within weeks we had been given a gorgeous granny-flat for next to no rent in one of the most desirable locations. Of course, we still had to work hard to make ends meet but we were so secure and cared for. Not only this, but my prenatal care was entirely covered by the Australian government. We experienced incredible midwife care and a birth centre birth. There was far more than enough, there was an abundance.

For most of our married life we've had very little as far as savings and income goes. There have been a few moments where I felt legitimate fear over how to make our next grocery shop happen and started sorting through our belongings to sell those things that we don't need (a very healthy exercise by the way!). Oftentimes in those moments we have also felt called to certain acts of simple generosity; whether it be hosting friends for dinner, providing a meal for someone sick or in need, buying a gift, travelling to see family because we knew how much it would mean to them, or lending money to someone who could not get by without. Sometimes we've wondered, in retrospect, whether these decisions were most prudent. Without question, each time we have acted in generosity beyond our means, we have somehow come upon money or groceries in abundance.

This blog post is not an ad for reckless spending or imprudent lending, but it is a reflection on our efforts to live abundantly in generous love. I can so easily apply these lessons to how I love my husband and how we love our children. SO many days I wake exhausted and wondering where the energy will come from to love deeply, to read, sing, play, dance....and then to do all of the normal things like cook, clean, bathe, or I don't know, think? Those days where I ruminate and pity my self are the days where the energy is limited and the patience seems short. Those days where I dig deep and seek abundant living are the days where there is enough! 

With this comes the important and humbling realization that I am weak and I need grace to be the wife, mother, and friend I am called to be. On my own, I really can't do it, but if I forge ahead with love, Love Himself will make much out of my little.

I have experienced this lesson over and over, and yet still I doubt. Still there are days where fear and anxiety propel me, consequently restricting my ability to love those around me with generosity and selflessness. Yet on those days when hope, peace, and TRUST motivate me, when I accept that alone I can do nothing, when I place my trust in a good God who supplies my every need and calms my every fear, those are the days when there is enough.

Onwards and upwards, right little Judah?
There is certainly enough cuteness to go around these days!!

xoxo