Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Nothing's New

I tiptoe out of our children's bedroom, wincing as the ever squeaking doors break the silence,  I am half asleep thanks to the lulling effect of prayer time and snuggle time. I trip over a dump-truck in the hall way and sigh as I collect odds and sods from Liliana's creative play draped here there and everywhere. Depending on the night I settle next to Joe to watch the news or maybe The Voice and fold copious amounts of laundry, leaving it for the next day to put away. Chances are it will wait 2 or 3 days.

...

I stare out of our window as I watch our children shriek and play, my hands immersed in the soapy dishwater, a perfect vantage point. I wince as one of them falls or one of them screams at the other, pausing a moment to see if I have to make my way to them or if they can dust themselves off. My heart thrills to watch them, their sweet little bodies and blonde heads. My mind wanders to more babies and maybe a trampoline for the backyard if we can find an affordable one.

...

I find something new that is desperately in need of a clean. The inside of the microwave, the baseboards, the fridge, the bathroom. It never ends. I think how nice it would be if the day came that for just one hour everything was perfectly clean and I did not feel constant pressure for one more thing and one more thing. I know undoubtedly that if I prioritize an at-home workout the dust bunnies will taunt me from underneath the furniture.
...

Joe and I are busy and tired, we kiss each other softly as we wake to the quiet of the morning and sit beside each other as we say our prayers or do some reading. Each of our days has a rhythm and rhyme that is it's own and yet intertwined with the other, and every so often the day is capped off with a date. We love each other deeply and flirt through the day, and every so often we feel a little annoyed with each other. Yet we never ever go to bed angry, and I always find deep peace as we fall asleep, reaching over and putting my hand in his.

It was fun being the coaches wife! Busy, but truly fun!
...

I chip way at bad habits. Sometimes I stare at the ceiling in the middle of the night trying to make peace with the moments I lost my temper and berated a child, or gave Joe the cold shoulder, or should have denied myself that extra glass of wine and did not, or was lazy.

Truly, how could I ever be angry at these two goofs, right? I have no idea what game they were playing here!
...

We make lists, we dream, we scheme for simple family vacations. We peel back our layers and expose our wounds and faults, we work together for growth. Our children grow and thrive, 3/4 of the time we marvel at just how amazing they are and 1/4 of the time we wonder if our little blessings will send us to the loony bin and I feverishly seek out a parenting book for advice. 100 percent of the time, though, we cannot imagine our life without them. We pay bills, chip away at debt, do house repairs, pray cars last but a little longer, go to church, teach, clean, feed, kiss,  stress, learn, pray REPEAT.

Tender daily moments, sometimes a little one
just needs to be snuggled to sleep!
Daddy helping Liliana soar!

Important life lessons being learned every day :)
Nothing's new, the weeks and days blend into each other, each scenario I just described is a scenario on repeat in our house.

In the past I've felt odd when someone asks me , "how are things with you?" or "what's new?" and I have absolutely nothing to report other than, "things are really good, busy but happy, nothing new to report!"

Until it occurred to me that nothing new is a blessed reality. It seems we are conditioned to think that life is more meaningful when it is dramatic, so much so that we go out of our way to create drama for ourselves. At least for me, social media is a contributor to this because I see bits and pieces of everybody's charmed life without seeing any of the messy bits. I am guilty of this myself.

And yet, all around me there are families met by tragedy....sick children, sick mamas, daddy's with out work, deceased spouses, natural disaster, mental illness, marital problems....the list goes on and on. For these people there is lots of drama, and I'm sure they would give almost anything to have it turn back to the boring old of nothing new.

Mysteriously and beautifully, when I resign myself to the fact that nothing new is a blessed reality, my eyes opened to see the little miracles that make each day new and each moment fresh. Sure, we play in our back yard every day but my children's minds are growing and expanding so rapidly that they are always discovering something magical.  The mess is steady but seasons have changed and now instead of muddy bootprints we have dirty hand prints on the wall from digging in the garden in search of lady bugs.

Seeking little gratitudes and little miracles opens my eyes to the two little robins flirting in the yard, the books my husband is finishing that are contributing so greatly to his maturation and manly strength, a new workout conquered each day that helps me feel stronger and more confident, a new vocabulary word for one of our children. Each day, in all of its mundane, is filled with new miracles, little miracles, miracles entirely lacking drama yet contributing beautifully to our family's story.

And so nothing is new, and yet everything is.

May your day be full of little miracles,

xoxo










No comments:

Post a Comment