Moments of Grace: The Mirror

There is an inevitable scenario each morning as I try to get myself ready. Sliiiiiiiide pitter patter pitter patter....I hear the sound of two sets of little feet pushing two stools over the hardwood floor to the bathroom where I rush through my morning "beauty" routine. Giggles and screeches, pointing and pushing, these four little arms, legs, eyes, ears and two little mouths, noses, and hearts imitate my every move. They brush their teeth, Liliana pretends to curl her eyelashes and Judah tries to stick bobby pins in his ears thinking they are q-tips. Judah draws eyeliner on his cheek and Liliana takes my brush blush, feeling so grown up as she swipes it across her cheeks. She uncaps my deodorant and swipes it across her tummy under her shirt, he takes it from her and rubs it on his cheeks. My hands fly from preventing several small disasters, to slapping on a bit of makeup, to hurriedly brushing my teeth, flipping my head over and throwing in a quick bun, and back to preventing more disaster.

One morning this past week I left the bathroom and realized I hadn't looked in the mirror! I had no idea if my hurried attempt at being "put together" had indeed achieved such an effect!

I used to look in the mirror too much, analyzing every angle, critiquing, pinching, obsessing and loathing.

I laughed as I realized that this is another gift of love....to love my Loves so deeply and so wholly and with such intensity that I forget to look in a mirror. There are far more important things to tend to than analyzing what can't be changed.

However, as I thought about it more I realized something even better....that these Loves of mine have become my mirror. The only mirror that matters.

My husband is my mirror as he gazes at me over the candles at dinner while our children make messes and he knows I am tired. He shows me that I am appreciated, that my work matters, it has been well done, and I am captivating to him even with smudges of dinner's preparations on my shirt and my bun turned lopsided over a day of chasing littles.

Oh wife, you silly woman! I will ALWAYS love you!

He thinks I am beautiful, and enough, and on top of it he is studly :)

My nursing babes are my mirror as they gaze at my with utter adoration while they suckle. When I look away their little hands creep up to cup my cheek and draw my gaze back to them. They show me that I am needed, and irreplaceable, and perfect for them.

He always wants to hold my hands as he sleeps!

My toddler is my mirror as she laughs over my crazy dancing in the kitchen or runs to me the second she needs anything. She is my mirror when tells me over and over again that I am sooooo pretty and stubbornly insists that her outfit be exactly like mine. She is my mirror when my harsh words or my sad mood make her sad and anxious. She tells me that I am beautiful, but imperfect, and yet, always worthy of forgiveness.

She felt so special that night, just like Mama!

The most perfect mirror. 

My friends are my mirror when they seek my advice, or invite me to spend time with them, or extend a helping hand. They tell me that I am silly, and worthy, and of value, and loveable even in the selfishness and woundedness.

These are the mirrors that Love provides me. These are the only mirrors that matter. Oh how grateful I am for pattering feet and sliding stools and mess making children. Today I will hug them tighter and accept their sweet kisses all over my face. Tonight I will not avert my eyes when my husband tells me I am everything he ever dreamed of. Here is to many more days of forgetting to peek in the mirror!

What mirrors do you have that show you your true beauty?

Happy Valentines day to you!

xoxo

6 Years of Dating

This past weekend marked since years since the night my handsome man and I met! WOW!

I'll never forget the night we met, mostly because Joe had hair an inch past his shoulders and a goatee that was long enough to put in two braids. He was so shy but had such kind eyes (thank goodness, it was rather hard to see what he looked like behind all his hair!). I didn't know that he called his dad, that night, telling him that he had just met the woman he was going to marry. 

When I look back on our six years the one thing that has been such a gift for our relationship has been that we date each other, regularly. As a matter of fact, it is probably one of the biggest priorities of our week is to make sure date night happens. Our dates have taken many forms. When I lived in Dallas Joe would drive to visit and we walked to the Italian cafe every Friday for a greek salad and to share a carafe of wine. Despite the fact that Italian cafe is sub-par food and cheap wine, it will forever be one of my all time favourite restaurants. It was there I learned Joe's heart as we lingered over our cheap wine and walked home in the warm Texas air.

Walking home from Italian Cafe in good ol' Las Colinas, Tx

In Australia we were beyond poor. We had two types of regular date nights. The first was to Costco for a 99 cent hot dog and to share a frozen yogurt. We loved driving our tiny little car through downtown Melbourne for our cheap date and sitting there relishing in the unhealthy deliciousness. The second was date night in. We would play beer pong, eat salami and cheese, and cuddle together under the tiny little space heater keeping our freezing apartment warm. We would talk for hours dreaming of our life together. Even though we were home we chose to make that time a date and it was amazing. I will never forget those dates and I continued to learn his heart.

Beer pong, just the two of us, and I was pregnant at this point so I played with Apple Juice :) 

Well, much has happened since Oz but we still date, almost weekly, (thanks Mom and Dad for babysitting!!!). It seems like almost always we have to squeeze a little bit in other areas of our budget to make sure it happens, but on the weeks we miss date night the disconnection between us is very evident. So, we make it happen! Most often these days date night is wing night. Wings at 25 cents a piece and a nice cold beer are a perfect and budget friendly opportunity to unwind and reconnect. We've had special dates too....formal events, concerts, surprise hotel stays. Some of our most cherished dates, even now, are date night in when kids go to my parent's or we put them to bed and we make European style feasts of bread, cheese, olives, and wine. We cherish these feasts sitting cross legged on the carpet and breathing deeply, and we make sure we are still in tune with each other's hearts. 

A whale watching dinner cruise in Hawaii. We were engaged that year!

Date nights are the only times we take selfies because it is just.the.two of us. YAY!!!

We love getting dressed up together. Those are special date nights too! I was pregnant with Judah here :)

Nothing like a patio together!

Even though date nights are casual I really like getting dressed up for my man.
Who cares if we are waaaay over dressed for a neighborhood pub on wing night!

Two months or so before we met our baby boy. Joe's first stadium concert.

I think that our dates are one of the biggest gifts we have given our marriage and our children. Date night shows them that we are in love with each other, that we prioritize one another, that we cherish the gift of carefree timelessness with our spouse. Liliana has just started complaining when we leave her to go on a date, but I always tell her that Mommy and Daddy need time together so we can be better mommies and daddies. She gets it and, more importantly, she gets to see that we walk the talk. My primary vocation is to my Joe and when I carve out time to make sure I still know his heart we can face whatever challenges greet us every day and we truly are better parents!

I am so beyond grateful for six years of dates with my Love, and I am excited that he is mine and I get to spend the rest of my life dating him!

Do you date your spouse? Do you have fun and budget friendly ideas for date night? I'd love to hear some of them!

Love and prayers for you this beautiful, sunny, winter day!

xoxo