I think that sometimes people look at us, our life, and think that we are perfect. It makes me feel guilty, because we are so far from perfect, I am so far from perfect, that it is sometimes comical! However, when I think about it, or look at it objectively, how we work through our imperfections to create a beautiful life is the really important thing.
Case in point. Last night we got home from Joe's basketball game (he coaches junior high aged boys). He hopped on skype to talk to a friend, while I ventured into the kitchen to try and make some order out of the mess and get dinner on the table. I set Liliana up in her high chair to eat some soup and drink some bubbly water (her favorite thing to drink!). I'm just going to make a long story short. 10 minutes later we had spilled two cans of bubbly water, there were smashed peas all over the floor, the kitchen was less clean than it had been a few minutes ago, and then my sweet baby slipped on the smashed peas with a cup of almond milk and went flying. Her face, her hair, her clothes, the floor, cupboards...COVERED. I laughed so hard because the next best thing was to cry. There we were, her and I, laughing our heads off over spilled milk.
This was only to top off a day in which I showered (plus!), but didn't dry my hair, of course. I didn't say morning prayers, was 10 minutes late to Mass, remembered a load of laundry that had been sitting in the machine for 2 days and now smells like mold, fed my 18 month old daughter a hamburger for lunch, had a quick 15 minutes workout (plus), but forgot to put deodorant on (of course!) and had to run out the door immediately after the workout without freshening up (thank God for perfume)....but yes, you get the point!
This was only to top off a day in which I showered (plus!), but didn't dry my hair, of course. I didn't say morning prayers, was 10 minutes late to Mass, remembered a load of laundry that had been sitting in the machine for 2 days and now smells like mold, fed my 18 month old daughter a hamburger for lunch, had a quick 15 minutes workout (plus), but forgot to put deodorant on (of course!) and had to run out the door immediately after the workout without freshening up (thank God for perfume)....but yes, you get the point!
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| At least I'm not the only one?? |
I wish I could say that this was not every day. I wish I could say that I have a laundry system, a meal plan, a craft center, nutritious lunches for my daughter that look like dinosaurs and Disney characters, date nights that involve red dresses/three-piece suits and martinis, cardio conditioning that allows me to run half marathons, make time every morning for prayer and every night for more prayer, a perfectly organized kitchen, clean floors, and immaculate bathrooms. I DON'T.
Every day is less than perfect, every day has a moment that makes me want to cry so I laugh instead, every day is a reminder of just how far I have to go to be holy and as loving of a wife, mother, and friend that I feel called to be.
(Oh yes, and on the date night point....date night almost always involves trading in a martini for pint of beer, gourmet for chicken wings at the neighborhood pub, and the red dress or suit for jeans and a mossy oak cap: because it is 5 minutes away and affordable.)
Here is the redemptive factor. LOVE and HOPE. I could have gone to bed annoyed and self deprecating, frustrated that my husband had been on skype and despairing that once again it was a day of comically difficult moments. However, I laid my sweet baby in her bed and kissed her soft cheeks, crept out of the room...and found a glass of red wine poured and waiting. We warmed up our cold dinner, sat down together, thanked God for our food and our love, and clinked our glasses to a beautiful life. An hour or so later, with the smashed peas off the floor and the dirty dishes neatly piled next to the sink, I crawled in bed with a man who is my best friend, who loves me in jeans just as much (or more) than he does in a red dress, who can't imagine a life without me even though I am so NOT the perfect wife, mother, and friend....and who is willing to be there with me while I figure it out even if it takes until I'm 95. Feeling safe, secure, and loved...I was reminded with great hope that tomorrow is another day to reset the alarm, fill up my coffee cup, and try again.
In it all, we love....and we laugh.
xoxo
