I See You

I received a video message from my sister the other day, and among the many loving words in it were these special and profound three, "I see You."

Our little Lyla bug was watching with me and has since taken to using them when one of her other family members is cranky, sad, frustrated, or even happy! "Don't worry Daddy, I see you."

It took me back to an interview I did last summer when we were analyzing income options and considering sending me to work. I was asked how I would handle a student sent to me for bad behaviour. I said something along the lines of, "first I would let her know that I see her, that underneath the bad behaviour I see her beauty and recognize a cry to be acknowledged and loved."

It took until receiving the message from my sister, one which caused me to feel so affirmed and so held, that I started contemplating what those three beautiful words could do as I discipline and as I relate to my husband and even as I learn to know and love myself better. 

I see you. I see that you are worthy, I see that you are imperfect and utterly lovable despite imperfection. I see that you are trying. I see that you are suffering. I see that you are human. I see that you are beautiful.

How can I help? 

My darling man has always struggled with emotion from me. When I am sad or emotional he wants to fix it asap. He knows that sometimes we have to sit with a feeling, even a sad one, and that sometimes we just need to invite someone in to sit with us. Of course it is natural that he doesn't want to be invited in to sit with me, he wants to make me feel better!

The other day we were out eating chicken wings and enjoying a  nice cold one, and despite my best efforts, as I relayed a story to him my tears started rolling into the spicy chicken wings. Sorry Love!

He looked at me straight in the eye. He did not turn away or shift uncomfortably. He said, " I SEE YOU. That is so hard, and I'm sorry you are sad."  These are powerful words. To be vulnerable and to be seen. Do we not all need more of this? 

Love to you this morning,